Flooding in Georgia

I feel sorry for those who lost loved ones today in Georgia. I feel pity for those who joke about the weather and feel no empathy for the families of those who died. But perhaps that way of coping with loss. It isn't for me to judge. I have family down there. I have a 19 year old niece in Bowden, GA and my children and their adopted family are now living in Opelika, AL. I pray they didn't get to much flooding.

Michael Collins

Michael Collins was a highly talented and very professional Professor and actor. He was one of the most sought after professors at Bloomsburg University. Anyone who sought his advice usually got it. After I dumped the Geology major, I debated returning to the Theatre Major if Only to do scriptwriting and Theatre management. I liked working in the box office on opening night of plays at Carver Hall. Michael could always put a smile on people's faces, could always make you laugh even if you felt down. I remember the last conversation with him but it was to ask how he liked his trip to London this spring. As usual he had a good time. While writing my book, I try to keep that gentle soul's advice in mind and that is to make conversation realistic. I loved scriptwriting class and wish I could have done better.

I plan on continuing to write scripts if only to brainstorm scenes in my book and wonder how he would have liked it. I want to dedicate it to him. He was one of my favorites.

I believe he was a naturally gifted professor who love to teach his students. We walked away better people because of michael collins and he will be forever missed. Rest in peace michael.

RIP Michael with these words: All angels come to us disguised--james russel lowe.

My book

So after putting my book aside for almost a month, I am taking Terry Brooks' advice found in his book Sometimes the Magic Works and am cutting characters like play directors or movie directors cut characters. These characters are filler material and don't advance the story any. Thus, when I do this I may have to rewrite nearly a hundred or so pages but I think my book the Ataxian chronicles will be better for it. Also, I wish I could get Shawn Speakman's advice on the next part. My subtitle Rise of the Lich is practically the subtitle of the WoW book Arthas: Rise of the Lich King. Should I change it or not? I don't know. Despite our differences and some hard words by me and possibly him as well, I still highly respect is knowledge of the writing industry. I just wish he knew how much I still respect him and value his advice. I wish we could have been friends. Alas, some things are not meant to be. ****** Oh, well, I'll toss a coin on it and according to Sharon Nixon, co-owner of Philips Emporium LLC publishers usually change the name of books anyway.****** Still hoping you get published Shawn

Ataxian Chronicles

I am working on the book's back story and history. It goes back about two thousand years and it will be involved. I think I could certainly squeeze eight to twelve more books out of the history I am going to create. It won't be like Tolkien though. I will have Dwarves, the occasional elf, but the history is pre-dominately that of Man, though Dwarves and Elves do play a crucial part in some the early histories. For the most part, these races have fallen by the wayside by the time of Selena Craig and the Undead War. What will be the final turnout of the story. Well, We'll see later

Memorial Day

I am a veteran of the United States Navy. I salute the Men and women of the armed forces and thank them for their service. Thank you Shipmates and everyone who serves this country proudly.

Preparing for Life and Health insurance test

Sitting here reading my ABLE Pass Book for my Prometric Life and Health Insurance test, I realize I need to beg one of the librarians to proctor my pre-licensing test so I can get the paper signed for my certificate so I can take the test on Jun 3rd. I hope to heaven I have a car by then. I totaled my last one. I best get going because I have to get up early tomorrow and drive to Lebanon. I look forward to my cousin John's wedding in Seattle to Miss Kasey from the Seattle area. I also look forward to seeing my cousin Jimmie Gerrity who my mother told me also lives in Seattle. Yes, guys from TBF I have lots of family up that way and with Kasey marrying John and marrying into the Anoia and Butler family, I'll have second cousins up there too. Of course with Jimmie I probably already have 3rd cousins. :) Think I'll move to Bremerton someday. Anyway, I'm learning lots of interesting stuff about S&P 500's and how they are connected to annuties and Roth IRAs. and Taxing for life insurance and about Health Insurance too. By the by, because of my health, I know I would be classified as a substandard risk, whereas someone with cancer in remission would be considered a standard risk if their health is overall pretty good and they don't engage in any hazardous pasttimes like scuba diving or skydiving or rodeo riding. They are physical hazards, where as indifference is a morale hazard and lying is a moral hazard in the life insurance biz.

Scandals for the Catholic Church in Ireland

Once again the Catholic Church is making headlines. But this time the scandals stretch back to the 1930s and well into the late-1990s. What is it? Why boys in reform school were beaten, starved or raped by the Brothers in Irish reform schools and girls and women were beaten, mistreated and otherwise abandoned by families into convents. Unwed mothers were treated the worst. Their children would be taken off them and placed in orphanages whilst they worked in Laundries. One of these Laundries were the Magdalene Laundries. A movie in 2002 was based on the true story of these horrendous places. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/08/sunday/main567365.shtml The other story is the current news headline on yahoo news. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090520/ap_on_re_eu/eu_ireland_catholic_abuse I was raised Catholic, but really am quite lapsed. I prefer Gnosticism. These men and women who professed to love and serve God were the type of individuals I would classify as either dark entities or individuals with Life Themes such as Manipulator or Persecutor. I hope God can forgive these nuns and priests for I cannot. No child should ever be made to be a slave in the service of a benevolent God. It goes against the very thing God is and what Jesus said about allowing the children to come to him. I am embarrassed for the Faith I was raised in and for my Irish heritage. That such crimes could be committed by fellow Irish men and women shames me. My own cousins, Sisters Peter and Rosita were sweet women and nuns in the IHM and I'm sure they are spinning over in their graves over this outrage to the cloth and their heritage.

skeleton pics

I figured I would share some of my most interesting pictures from my senior year in college. This picture is of a skeleton I worked on for my independent study in Forensic Anthropology. I received a grade of "A" for the project. I love this type of work and although I love learning about Life and Health Insurance and adore writing this is really what I want to do with my life--I just need the capital to finance my Masters and Doctorate in Forensic Anthropology.

Region News

Today is the Pennsylvania Primary. Specters name was not on the ballot this year or I would have voted for him. Perhaps next year. I'm looking forward to next year--Pennsylvania's chance to get rid of Fast "Fat" Eddie Rendell. He's promising to make State Workers work without pay in case of a budget impasse. I know my friend Dan Knorr will get elected in the primary for Mayor of Bloomsburg(he's running unopposed). I had the opportunity to thank one the volunteer firefighters from Aristes for getting me out my train wreck of an accident. His name is Mr. Harris, a nice looking African-American. He lives down the block from me on the other side of the street. I appreciate his help. My neighbors are awesome people. The coal Region is a tight knit area where neighbors still help neighbors and we can let our children out to play without the worries that most modern cities or urban suburbs have. But that is simply because the neighbors are generally the parents who went to school together. For instance my daughter plays with several kids whose parents I know from either the area community pools or I went to school with. Her friend father's last name is Houser and he and my brother Jerry use to run together(although Jeff ducked my brother in 35 degree water in the Doggie Dam when they were kids). Yesterday, My friend Nicole was telling us how her brother, her and their friend use to toss nerf footballs across the street. And Her brother pegged a driver in the head. It was funny, because the guy(a big dude) got out and ran after him. She had us in stitches. God, I love the Coal Region. We are all family here. I love it.

Addendum to Two Things

I have nothing whatsoever to prove to HIM. Everyone that really knows me likes me. If he can't come out of his white Ivory Tower so be it. But life is too short and I'm through with worrying about HIM. I only have myself to prove things too. I have a life and children who need me. I'll keep that as my maxim for now. Anonymous is not my friend. My brother Jerry is sooooooooo right.

Lifetime Friendships

I believe lifetime friendships are possible. My friend Lana Slotterback and I have been friends since I was 9. Almost 25 years later, I am still friends with her. She loves me and accepts me for who I am and I am of like mind with her. True friendships are possible if the other person can accept someone with all their faults and idiosyncracies and still like that person. My Aunt Eileen once told me that me and my brothers were some of the nicest, most unspoiled, most unindulged children she knew and as a result she said that none of us had arrogance. I love my boss, Joe, he is a wonderful man. He's also cool. He rides a Suzuki motorcycle and wears leather riding gear. The people that know me best are the ones who grew up with me and know my temper, know my family and know my friends. My brother showed me a quote yesterday it goes: "Anonymous is here. Anonymous is not your friend." So, so true. I post only positive or middling comments and nothing negative. Negative posts get read and rejected. I am a child of God and I don't need negativity in my life. I don't need negative people slamming my God-centered soul in my quest to become more positive. To my detractors I say this: You only knew me for 4 months, you have not known me your whole life. Before you slander me or criticize, look at yourself and ask am I perfect or do I have faults too? After all, Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I cast no stones at you and Him could be anyone of the many exes I have. Up and to including my ex-husband. So don't assume--after all you know what they say about assuming. Friends forgive and move on. I forgive my detractors and pray that you find happiness in your lives.

Lichdom

In writing The Rise of the Lich I have had to do some research. To me, lichdom, is ritual suicide. Lichdom is a form of suicide and a maddened attempt to gain godhood or immortality. But these men and women who choose lichdom, are already the sociopaths of Ataxia. They are afraid to die, afraid to give up their wealth and powers or just afraid. In their maddened state they believe they can outwit the Reaper. But the Reaper claims his own. Everything dies forever sooner or later. Writing Sildur Diabolist, a psionic lich, is fun as is writing about Sheol the Cruel. Sheol chose the his name because he liked demonology and studying the plane of Sheol. Sildur is the strongest lich in Ataxian history. He is about 3000 years old and existed before Ataxia or Vidar were formed. He existed before the births of Queen Philomena and King Adrian--prominent figures in the history of Ataxia and before the birth of Prince Abraham--later to be known as Sheol the Cruel. He has lain in wait for centuries for the right astrological alignment and begins his slow rise to once again try to conquer the continent of Onestra and bring about the re-birth of his empire, which was once known as Obsidia. His lichdom is such that he'll never completely become a demi-lich.

article about Car Wreck

Here is what I escaped from. Thank God for seatbelts and great neighbors. Thank God my mom knows PA State Trooper Michael Kozma.

i survived

i survived my on May 7, 2009 after I ate a telephone pole and totaled my car. I escaped with abrasions and massive bruising. I am happy to be alive and take into consideration that life isn't that serious and I've got to go with the flow. Thank God for seatbelts I could be other wise. See the May 8th edition of www.pressenterprise.com for further details or email me at fprice65@yahoo.com

The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare

I just discovered this Urban Fantasy and I am looking forward to really enjoying it. From the looks of things it seems like it will be a fun series and I'm in dire need of something new to read. If I absorb myself in my books I will eventually stop thinking of Him and the Forum. I must put it behind me and use it as a fine lesson in who to avoid. Thank God for Sharon.

Rethinking my book

I've decided to rethink my book. I have a thousand questions for how to create a website, but no one to answer them. I want to use various quotes at the start of select chapters-a quote for the beginning, one for the Interlude, and one for the villians intro and one for the last. I want only four quotes at the start of each chapter. So far, I'm using a quote from Edgar Allen Poe. Might use Lovecraft, but need two more. If anyone has any ideas, the first chapter starts off with innocence ending in Undeath, please feel free to share. It's more than time to get back on track as I'm slowly putting the last few months behind me as a fine lesson in what forums to avoid from now on. I hate to say it, but the crew at TBF may have turned me off Terry Brooks altogether, because I don't want to be associated with certain people in that group. No one, and I mean no one has the right to make another human being feel the way most of them made me feel. I forgive you Shawn Speakman for hurting my feelings and for saying I bring out the worst in people. I am Scorpio, but not a scorpion. I'm on the second tier of scorpio--the Eagle. I will eventually rise to phoenix. Take care My friend and I do care about you. There will never be a time I don't. You are my friend and I love all my friends. :)

It's May

It's May and it's raining. I have 17 days to prepare and pre-test for the Prometric Life and Health Insurance Licensing test. I am trying to complete the Life Insurance section to complete my Health Insurance study section next week. I am very excited. I think I willl be great at my job. So far as a census worker and Lister for the 2010 census people have responded to me and treated me kindly. I even managed to talk my way into the gated community of Mystic Mountain. Proving the lie that I bring out the worst in People. Now that the listing of addresses for the 2010 census is wearing down I can get back to concentrating on my story, although I feel that the time off from it is good for me. Also I promised my daughter more time away from it. Now that it has been two weeks since I was Unceremoniously kicked off Terry's Forum by the hard-hearted Shawn and his cronies, I have had time to sit back and contemplate if that wasn't for the best in the first place. I certainly have had less tooth pain since they did what they did. I'm not really mad at the mods anymore, but I am still a bit annoyed with Shawn. Maybe it's because I truly trusted him and took his defense of me to heart, I don't know. All I know is I still want to meet him so he can truly see what a decent and good person I am. After all, how can you really know a person without actually meeting them in the flesh? Who knows, he may actually talk to me. But I won't hold my breath. By then, though, I hope to be published in Abstracts in Anthropology. :) Here's hoping.

Forgiveness

Alone by Edgar Allan Poe From childhood's hour I have not beenAs others were - I have not seenAs others saw - I could not bringMy passions from a common spring -From the same source I have not takenMy sorrow - I could not awakenMy heart to joy at the same tone -And all I lov'd - I lov'd alone -Then - in my childhood - in the dawnOf a most stormy life - was drawnFrom ev'ry depth of good and illThe mystery which binds me still -From the torrent, or the fountain -From the red cliff of the mountain -From the sun that 'round me roll'dIn its autumn tint of gold -From the lightning in the skyAs it pass'd me flying by -From the thunder, and the storm -And the cloud that took the form(When the rest of Heaven was blue)Of a demon in my view ---- Edgar speaks my emotions. But so does Christina Rossetti---- Despised And Rejected Christina Rossetti My sun has set, I dwell In darkness as a dead man out of sight; And none remains, not one, that I should tell To him mine evil plight This bitter night. I will make fast my door That hollow friends may trouble me no more. “Friend, open to Me.”—Who is this that calls? Nay, I am deaf as are my walls: Cease crying, for I will not hear Thy cry of hope or fear. Others were dear, Others forsook me: what art thou indeed That I should heed Thy lamentable need? Hungry should feed, Or stranger lodge thee here? “Friend, My Feet bleed. Open thy door to Me and comfort Me.” I will not open, trouble me no more. Go on thy way footsore, I will not rise and open unto thee. “Then is it nothing to thee? Open, see Who stands to plead with thee. Open, lest I should pass thee by, and thou One day entreat My Face And howl for grace, And I be deaf as thou art now. Open to Me.” Then I cried out upon him: Cease, Leave me in peace: Fear not that I should crave Aught thou mayst have. Leave me in peace, yea trouble me no more, Lest I arise and chase thee from my door. What, shall I not be let Alone, that thou dost vex me yet? But all night long that voice spake urgently: “Open to Me.” Still harping in mine ears: “Rise, let Me in.” Pleading with tears: “Open to Me that I may come to thee.” While the dew dropped, while the dark hours were cold: “My Feet bleed, see My Face, See My Hands bleed that bring thee grace, My Heart doth bleed for thee, Open to Me.” So till the break of day: Then died away That voice, in silence as of sorrow; Then footsteps echoing like a sigh Passed me by, Lingering footsteps slow to pass. On the morrow I saw upon the grass Each footprint marked in blood, and on my door The mark of blood forevermore------ This poem fits me best for how I felt I was treated on TBF. Maybe twere best I rest in death embound. No more for nature to see my face. Cover in dew dropped lace and let no more the world see my shame-filled face. For I only bring out the worst in men or so HE says. So twere better I was dead. No more tears can I shed.

William Cowper

He is one of my favorite poets Brilliant and insane. But loved God with a power to admire No children did he sire. I hope to be as famous someday and loved like Christina Rosseti.

Friendship

Friendship means alot to me. I don't make friends easily. I never have. My mother believes I suffer from Asperger's syndrome and am socially backward. maybe a little. which is why I adore writing. In the coming weeks I hope to get Chapters 14 through 17 completed for my story. I want to show the strong ties that bind the 5 friends together. Carina's friendships with Goliath, Casper and Laran grow stronger, while the spiritual sisterhood between Selena and Carina blossoms. I also hope to show the friendship and deep love the five friends hold for each other. I know I made more enemies than friends these past four months, but life happens and it goes on.

See My Heart

A woman's heart holds secrets. Secrets no man can know. We are mothers, daughters, wives and lovers, but Only we can let our hearts show. I'm sure he won't forgive me, hates me; we'll see. I only wanted to be named Friend but I suppose that was too much to ask. Sorry for intruding your sacred space for trying to make friends. My soul was telling me to go; i told it no. But you showed me the way. Do you hate me? I need to know. I never lie-don't know how. Everything I said on the Forum was the truth. Why would you think I lie? I loved it there. Frequently got in trouble for being there. I felt scapegoated. Still do. But I'm not angry. Melancholy will do.

Questions and Facts

The questions that race around around my head at night keep me awake. For instance, what was it about me they hated? Why was I so despised and reviled? Why were they too cowardly to say anything? It's now secret that I did not really trust the moderators. Most were men and as I said in my previous post, I am a wee bit afraid of men. Unless that man has earned my trust like at least one from there has. But to that end I am afraid of alienating that one. I don't mind that I burned bridges with the rest. As the song says...Burn your bridges and build them back with wealth. Some other questions include what the women thought of me? I know Amber didn't like me much--tolerated me in fact. I am unsure about Courtney or Darcia or the rest. I meant what I said though. I am a good and decent human being. I love my fellow man. I have a wealth of knowledge bubbling inside me, pointless trivia. I just don't get it. Why did I get kicked off? What about the people who spoke harshly to me on the sixth, why weren't they banned? If they did it to me, what's to stop them from doing it to someone else? But I remember what Diane has said, that what goes around comes around. Every one gets their commuppance in time. No one is immune to the rules of Karma. So should they from TBF read this or respond, then I will do my best to turn the other cheek and remember that they are imperfect beings like me. The cliques were not for me there. I was never part of clique in high school--I was a loner with my nose stuck in a book. Oh, but if they knew how badly I have wanted to die the past week, how I downed my medicine with beer ladened with Lobelia praying I would no longer wake to this hateful, hurtful, hellish world, perhaps they would feel differently. At least one man over there took my mention of suicidal ideations seriously. God bless him. Death is not the answer. Living well, living successful, happily and beautifully is the answer. Death comes calling when She calls. No sense in rushing her. But to hear him say I forgive you would make me happy. But I can only pray for it. I can only hope the Archangel Uriel, Angel of Forgiveness inspires pity and empathy in his heart. I will continue to pray for their salvations. They are in need of prayers. They may hate me--but I have never and will never hate any of them. They can accept this as an apology for any transgressions or they can be spiteful and vindictive. It is their choice. I still want bygones to be bygones. Either way, I now longer feel the desire to be a part of the Forum, not even if it meant saving my life. I want to communicate freely with those individuals who are mature enough to accept my apologies. I never meant to invade the sanctity of the Forum nor to intrude my unwelcome presence among you. Forgive me for intruding upon your lives and I will never darken your doorstep again. I merely sought friendship, hoped to make friends, but only found enemies. If I wronged you all in past lives I am sorry. I know I must have wronged you all in past lives for where else would this intolerable hatred of me come from. I can never understand how individuals who have never seen me nor met me can hate me. I don't hate any of you. I never will. It is your choice.

My Heart

I am a sensitive person and I give my heart freely to those who deserve it. I wonder if they are done spying on me, I wonder if they have grown bored and moved on. I don't know; I don't care. Yes, I still care for him. Why not? What is so wrong with caring for someone and loving your fellow man? Nothing. It's what Jesus would want us to do. But dark-souled people who hate the light that white entities bring will do there best to blot that light for they cannot stand the sight of it. Anyone I have called friend in my life I care for and pray for and hope the best for them. So it makes me wonder if so many people see good in me, why the Terry Brooks forum saw only the negative. I never ever belittled anyone there. My conscience is clear on that. It wasn't until I was banned that I wrote that abhorrent post that I later deleted. That was my hurt, my pride speaking, not the true me. The true me use to say the rosary over a particular infant's grave when I was a child. The true me knew enough when to let go of my beloved Little Craig and to let him go Home to the Other Side and I love the image of him sitting on his granddaddy's lap. I no longer feel the need to worry about Terry Brooks Forum. I am content to enjoy the author's books and not worry about folk I'm likely to never meet. Besides, if what Sylvia Browne says is true, we all charted our lifetimes with the agreement to meet and learn and I believe in what Sylvia says. I charted my lifetime and it was done in order to enrich my soul. But I did meet a number of dark-souled entities over there. I can name at least six. I never forgot what Shawn did on April 6, 2009. I never forget a kindness and the times I do I regret for a long time. But in my own way, I was afraid of him too. I am always afraid of men who have power over me. I fear verbal, mental or physical abuse from men. This fear has been drilled into me since I was a little girl. First from father who beat me with a belt until I had welts the size of a man's two spread hands on my thighs and then from when my 4th grade teacher Mr. Kalata shook his fist at me. I was even afraid of my beloved grandfather after he took Bill the Busdriver's side which ended up in the beating. But still I fear my father. I can remember sitting in the living room as a young woman when on his way to bed he poked my chest and told me they were getting too big. Such fear and humiliation raced through me. I must have cried for hours. I am afraid of men, afraid of angering them. But I am also afraid of telling them I care. I don't know what response I will get so I try to hide it but I wear my heart on my sleeve. I knew that I would be ridiculed and scorned and made fun of if I ever revealed my feelings and from the fleeting view of my friend's computer I was proven right on Shawn's thread about me. I have never ever been so despised in my life and for why is beyond me. I still don't understand why they hated me so, I guess I'll never know. No one was brave enough there to tell me to my face why they hated me nor was HE brave enough to tell me to lay off. At least Philip Diorio, another man I know who rejected me, was brave enough to tell me why he was rejecting me. But like Phil--those memories bittersweet and somber, melancholy and seared into mind--I only wanted for Shawn to call me friend. I never want romantic involvement. HA! why would I want that? I only get hurt when my heart is involved. So now like Phil he hates me and I must live with that. But I am a survivor. I survived Phil. I survived my ex-husband, who did his best to beat me emotionally and mentally, and later tried to strangle me. I survived burying my beloved Little Craig Garasich and letting David and Marilyn be adopted by my sister-in-law. I will get over Shawn Speakman and I will move on. Maybe the man I am destined for I have yet to meet. With God's Holy Grace I will meet him. But for now all I can do is watch and pray and hope. Above all hope.

Poems of me

He can't see my eyes, the hurt or the pain. Or the bloodstain on the cloth where I staunched the blood from my open vein I wanted to die. Why? To give them satisfaction of seeing the way they affected me. I don't lie. I don't forget. Forget is too regret. I never forgot what he did for me, though he said I did. Anger coursed through me the other day. Words said in anger are hasty, unmeant, misspent. But I have scars on my heart and scars on my arms. Again I'll try with the four benadryl, zocor--lobelia and beer. Want to die-end pain--can no longer cry. Tears are spent.

my first week as a canvasser

I like the Census job well enough, I get plenty of fresh air. But my feet aren't use to the walking. thank god it's Mount Carmel so far.

still whirling

Even now, almost a week later, I'm still whirling over how anyone took offense to my statement over at the TBF. I am never insincere--ever! What those people did bordered on meanness and cruelty. It also reflected truer natures than they would normally expresses. Masks were removed and true colors shown. I know I have enemies over there, but I also have at least two defenders, though one would say he wasn't defending me. But to me that man is my knight right now. He has never judged me, never treated me badly. I care for him. I won't say a name, because of what they may think over at TBF. I should have posted that. I love it. He defended me. Thank God for Shawn.

angel poem

Angels are from god's womb guarding and protecting us in our tombs. Preparing us to see the Savior Loving us and guiding us Though sometimes we don't listen to them. I've disappointed my guardian angels many times. Today i saw plenty of signs To return to God's fold And hear is word retold. I read the Bible when I younger. And after last night I have renewed hunger. For god's peace and love Sent from above. Thank you Guardian Angel.

what pictures of angel mean to me

Angels to me mean purity. They mean purity of spirit. One lady missed my meaning completely. The angel i posted is beautiful and dressed in white with the gates of heaven behind her. I meant what I said as a tribute to those special people. they don't understand me. From the sound of things that I have read, it seems to me that inside Evil Homer(trevor) was an angel and his true nature returned to God's Heavenly realm when he died. If she can't see what I mean, I'm sorry. Perhaps she is insulted by my tribute. Ah well, not everyone thinks with their heart. I never knew him and I wish I had. I love Steven Colbert. Angels are special people placed on earth to enlighten and to guide us. Many are born physical, mentally, emotionally handicapped but they are divine spirits that are here for a short time, but impact lives more than anyone can know. And that is what I meant by using my angel as tribute. Angels are beautiful. God put angels among us to guide us in all our ways, not just Christians or Muslims or Jews, but people of all Faiths. I feel for people that can not see inner beauty. I try to forgive, I don't like holding grudges. they poison the soul. I believe their are angels among us and they are the best friends we have in our lives. And those friends who have passed on are by far the the most precious of angels for they have transformed lives they have touched. For those who criticize my tribute to members of the Terry Brooks Forum I am sorry and I will ask my Goddess to inspire the ability for you to see pureness of light and love in a person's soul. For until you can do that you are blind. It is only by seeing with the heart that we truly see.

No More

No More will I be ruled by what others think But only by what I think A life can only be ruined if you allow it to be ruined. People make you a doormat if you allow it. IDon't allow it. I defy you and everyone who hurts me especially myself. I love who I am, I love my life. This is me. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

About Me

i am a decent human being who like everyone else in this God forsaken world has her foibles and her faults. But I am human, I have feelings. I cry and I laugh. I get angry and I love. Let those who love me, love me. Let those who hate me, hate me. But say nothing against my character. For I am a wonderful person. Max Ehrmann Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

on being ignored

I constantly go on the Terry Brooks Web Forum and after nearly four months I can honestly say the majority of its members are decent human beings. It is the other immature half I wish to discuss. I know they ignore me, but for the record I don't care, I lose no more sleep than the next person. What problems these people have against me is not my problem since I know I have never done anything to them. The ones that post a response to my threads the most often I call friends. I call Shazammm from Philly as my best friend on that entire site. He is one of the most mature and nicest members I have met. One member is a little hyperactive, but he grows on you and is an acquired taste like spinach. i couldn't stand spinach as a kid, but now i don't mind it so much. Whether or not they like me is neither here nor there.

Airedale found

Well i finally found two excellent examples for my walled city/town of Airedale. The first is the ancient walled fortress of Carcassone, France and the other is Gottenstein in Germany. Both are what I'm looking for, but I'm going to make the city look less congested than those two fine cities.

On to my Interlude

Well Chapter 12 bit the dust, though I'm going to have to go back and restructure seven through 12 and see if I can't make them stronger, but I'll wait until I get the damn thing done. Before I write the interlude where i present a new characters, Sildur Diabolist and his lich seer, Amon Feral. These liches along with Sheol the Cruel prepare nasty traps for the savior of Onestra. Amon Feral is also a lich seer who tells his Master when the exact time of the eclipse will be and when he can rise. Once Sildur Rises a new darker age will begin in Vidar and the ancient Necrotic empire of Obsidia will reign again.

Might add one or two sea battles

I might add a sea battle in the Straits of Carthage between the Kingdom of Ka'leerkor and the Kingdom of Ataxia. So must research battles of the sea.

Book's End

Well, I've come up with my book's end and I'm writing it since it's clearest in my mind, I just have to fill in the middle. Should be fun. Lot's of surprises in the middle of my book and two huge surprises at the end. Keep reading this blog, I'll keep posting. :--)

Religion(s) hand in world events

Religion or religions have/had a major effect on how the world runs. Human beings are at best a very advanced, spiritually and physically, ape. Wars have been fought based on someones faith. People have died as a result religion. Hitler hated Jews and as a result 6 million died. the Catholic Church fought four Crusades or Holy Wars against the Muslims for them going into the Holy War, but yet Jerusalem is central to Catholics, Jews, and Muslims. It's a center of world religion. My paper compares and contrasts the histories and how witches and witchcraft are viewed by then. History is important especially in political and spiritual and cultural levels. Yet the dual root of the paper is both how anthropology can work to benefit and get cultures to live in harmony with religions and how the internet has influenced the growth of Wicca as an international cultural and religious community.

It's March

I have been reading a paper on the myth of the burning times and wonder if the author has even read Christian theological history from both the oppressor's and the oppressee's viewpoints. The Christian Church has been persecuting people for years. Unfortunately, I'm bound to piss alot of people off especially in Wicca when I say that Margaret Murray was simply wrong or I'll piss people off by asserting Margaret Murray was right and link her views to those of Shamanism and that people who profess to believe in the ancient origins of Wicca were right, by it can't be called Wicca because the term effectively came into use in 1954 when Gerald Gardner coined it and it was a form of paganism. Either way someone is bound to get pissed off. Should be fun :--D

Men and Blondes

What is it about blondes guys like? Oh I'm no different I like blondes too. I remember gushing over Jakes wonderful blonde hair and blue eyes. Of course, I got Craig Garasich, Faith's father. For a man, he had the thickest, brightest blonde hair I've ever seen. My daughter didn't get the thick hair, but her hair is just like her daddy's. But I also Like blue black. My granddad had blue black.

Heard from Raymond Buckland

I heard from Raymond Buckland today and although he could not help with my paper, he did reply and I appreciate that. Dr. Buckland brought Seax-Wicca to America and he is very influential...

ATAXIAN CHRONICLES: Selena's Despair

ATAXIAN CHRONICLES: Selena's Despair

Selena's Despair

Selena, my heroine, is a cynical but courageous character who was brought about by some interesting things in my life. One I didn't want the typical fantasy hero with the father with the heart of gold. No, I wanted to give my heroine a real bastard of a father who many would want to smack as much as her cousin, Goliath, wants too. Selena is Twenty years old and described as beautiful with thick auburn hair and grass green eyes. Because of her father, Selena's spirit is bent but not broken. I wanted a woman who could prove resilient and able to say, "This is my life, no one else's." Her despair comes with a series of deaths of friends. She realizes that she is the only one who can save her kingdom or is she a red herring and the real hero has yet to reveal him or her self? Let me keep my readers guessing.

Restructuring and Catholicism

I'm going to end up pissing some people off. I'm going to go on the historical and cultural attack of Catholicism in my paper by using Malinowski's Funcitionalism has a way of explaining why Catholicism is misogynistic and why the dogmatics of the church need to change. For 2000 years, the Church have made women feel like 2nd class citizens. When in fact one its holiest figures, The Virgin Mary, is all but a goddess. I contend that it's time the Church progressed and started allowing women to become priests--but that would break the all-male clubhouse rules of allowing women in the "sacred fraternity." This is why I'm Wiccan and won't join the Church again. Its laws and reasonings don't appeal to me. It is much too misogynistic for my taste.

Ataxian Chronicles: Rise of the Lich--Chapter 12

The story's pace is picking up and the next 20 or so chapters will be about Selena's quest and building tension to Sildur's Rise. I'm building my story arc around nine main POV characters. Right now these nine have disparate subplots but will begin to interweave themselves into the main plot--Destroy the Liches, Save the World. Cliche I know, but Hey I'm having fun. I hope people can understand my thematic elements when they read it.

Research is Fun :)

Today I'm researching different types of clocks so I can accurately describe how my people in Ataxia tell time. I am researching water clocks and ancient calendar systems. I intend to full flesh out my world and it's history. I was once asked if it's going to be like Tolkien's the Lord of the Rings. This may seem arrogant. But damn it yes, I want to be known as the Queen of Fantasy. I want to be able to write young adult fantasy, epic fantasy, High Fantasy, and urban fantasy as well as Dark Fantasy. Which means if I can help it, I will every peace of fantasy I can get my hands on. Unlike Tolkien, my love of literature extends to Mesopotamian and Eygptian mythology. I am fascinated by it. I have been in love with these two civilizations since I was 10. I grew up with them and intend to base my gods off them if I can. Gods, may get changed around in this story during the edit. I haven't decided. But I will also be research these civilizations legends of dark sorcerers and phoenix legends as well. I want an agent to be able to pick this up and say "Wow! This is new and different. I want this as my gem in my crown." But I have got to continue outlining for that to happen. So Onward I go.

OUTLINING 2/17/09

Having Fun Outlining. Plan on Having Chapters 10-14 written by tonight at Midnight. That's four chapters or about 80 pages. I'm equal to it. My chapters are two from Selena and Carina's povs and Byleth and Asmodeus' P.O.V. These should be fun chapters to write especially Chapters 13-14. I love a good villian. :)

Sunday, February 15,2009

Well this promises to be a busy week for me. If what I want goes right, I'll be at a job fair in Camp Hill this weekend with a numerous set of employers. Working for Enterprise might be interesting. I'm not a bad sales person, god knows I use to schlep all over town for school. I want to get on Chapter 15 by the end of the week. I'm rewriting Chapter 10. That means to make that goal, I'll have to sit up late tonight outlining my books next five chapters to a fare-thee-well. I also want to type the complete bibliography for my paper by weeks end. *sighs* Looks like coffee and exercise are going to keep me awake this week. Wednesday I have to go to Sunbury, there's an hour out of my life and maybe three that I would want back. On the plus side, if I do manage to get this book published, I can pay back my debts and thumb my nose at California. haha

Painting

I love this image and may use it in my book. It is perfect and reminds me of Goliath and Aine-as far as their descriptions go. Someday I'll have a few paintings in my possession. I must have a print of this. :D

Re-write

Freewriting is hard. No doubt about it, and I prefer to get the rest organized to save valuable time. I think I got it organized to the point where I'm happy. Once again I scrapped two chapters, thinking it dreck and I want it tighter. I hope to have the chapter tied up to were the two surviving children reach Airedale by the end of chapter eleven. I want Selena in the field with Lady Carina and Cyrila by chapter 12. i decided I'm also going to have at least five chapters interspersed from the villains point of view. I'm hoping to make this a trilogy. I like the name Diabolist because, well, :D that's my secret. Keep reading and find out.

my villians

I am working on the biographies for Byleth and Asmodeus Kren, Sildur Diabolist and Sheol the Cruel. I want to make Sildur so evil that it will make Findo Gask look saintly. I intend to use a combination of Charles Manson, Hitler, Vlad Tepes and Ivan the Terrible and the Leviathan. I want my own worst mortal villain in my book to cower before him. I hope I'm capable of such in-depth writing. I would love to have someone to rival some of the worst villains in fiction.

DJ answered me

DJ Conway answered my questions and I am thrilled. These are her answers:

1)How do you think the internet has helped Wicca fight the belief that we are a bunch of "devil worshippers" when in fact there is no devil in the Craft?

It will only help those with an open mind. People who are determined that Wicca worships the 'devil' won't change their minds, however many references you quote or articles they read. 2)Where do you think Wicca is going as a religion?

Unfortunately, I see too many Wiccan groups headed into the inflexible attitudes of orthodox religions. They learn a little about the religion and think there is no more to learn. Or, worse, they take one leader's thoughts as the only right ones. 3)Do you think the Big Three Mainstream religions have become more tolerant of Wiccans?

No. If it weren't for the laws, they would still be torturing, killing, and burning everyone who doesn't believe as they do. 4)When you hear of religious persecutions of people accused of witchcraft in Africa, do you think the Burning Times are continuing?

Yes, the Burning Times continue. If people anywhere would think of spiritual paths instead of religions (which are two different things), there would be far fewer, if any, persecutions. 5)Can Wiccans of any Path use the Internet to help fight for people in Africa who are being persecuted and murdered for being suspected witches?

No. Whatever leader currently holds power in each African country controls whether or not people are persecuted and killed for spiritual beliefs. They are still killing each other over cultural differences. 6)What do you think of Hollywood's portrayal of Witches and how does it affect the view of people towards Wiccans?

Hollywood has always portrayed Witches in the most sensational ways for money-making movies. They add to the misconceptions. 7) Have you heard of Margaret Alice Murray or read her book God of the Witches?

Yes, I read Ms Murray's books years ago. Blessed Be and Thank you very much. As I said I do appreciate this greatly.

Possible Abstract?

This is the possible Abstract for my Anthropology Paper. I'll need to get it approved, but I think it establishes all the points I wish to cover. ____________________________________________________________________ The internet is a powerful medium in today’s world. It has helped the world with commerce, connecting to people we were unlikely to meet twenty years ago, as well as a whole of host of other issues. This paper focuses on how the internet has helped shape the religion known as Wicca into an international religious and cultural community. Members of all walks of life and practicing various paths from Gardnerian Wicca to Eclectic Wicca have used the internet to keep in contact with others and help others within the Craft of the Wise. It has helped those who seek the Goddess and God and allows for fair and sometimes unfair communication between members. But how does Anthropology play a part in the internet age? How can anthropologists use the internet to understand various walks of life? The internet is solidifying the world into a global community. I have several specific points to make in this paper, including how anthropologists can help fight religious intolerance in Africa and other parts of the world where intolerance for witches continue to this day. I will attempt to show how anthropology is still needed in this day and age. I hope to bring an understanding to people concerning the religion known as Wicca and how it differs from witchcraft as presented in Evans-Pritchard’s Witchcraft, Oracles and Magic among the Azande. During the course of this paper I will compare and contrast Wicca in the western world with witchcraft in Africa.

how do i follow other's blogs

If anyone views this blog, please tell me how to follow other blogs. Thanks

Internet Interview with DJ Conway

While it is technically an email interview, it is over the internet, so I'll count it as such. I am just thrilled that she replied to my email. It is so awesome. DJ Conway is one of my favorite Wiccan authors. I have three of her books and have written and highlighted the heck out of the Complete Wicca. I hope one other author gets back to me--Raymond Buckland.

fighting with google

Finally after 24 hours I managed to get on my website. I'm currently working on my book. I'm on Chapter 11 and will have a list of word counts for my chapters up in a few days. I'm also working on a paper for anthropology entitled The Internet's Influence on Wicca's Growth as a Religious and Cultural Community: How Anthropology's theories of Functionalism and Structuralism apply to Wicca.

Rise of the Lich

I am currently in Chapter Eleven of my book called Rise of the Lich. It's about a young woman who comes from a very dysfunctional family life. She learns that she is the prophesied savior of her country but has to fight against the yoke of such responsibility. She meets a man who she believes her enemy, but in the end turns out to be her savior so she can complete her quest and destroy the Necrotic Potentate.